5 Revealing Christian Dating Red Flags To Watch For

Dating as a Christian woman comes with unique challenges. You want to honor God, protect your heart, and build a relationship rooted in faith. But how do you spot red flags before getting emotionally invested? Here are some Christian dating red flags to watch for and how to navigate with discernment.

Before I became a Christian in my late 20s, I experienced worldly dating and found myself in relationships I shouldn’t have. You can read more of my story here. Red flags in Christian dating can be obvious, but they’re not always easy to spot, especially if you’re not rooted in the Word and don’t fully understand what biblical dating looks like.

What are some Christian dating red flags?

1: He Doesn’t Prioritize His Faith

If he claims to be a Christian but his actions don’t reflect a Christ-like life, that’s a red flag in Christian dating. James 2:26 reminds us that “faith without works is dead.” A genuine relationship with God should be evident in his daily walk. Remember, it’s not your job to change him; that is up to God.

• Talks about faith but doesn’t live it out.
• Skips church, prayer, and Bible study regularly.
• Compromises on core values.

What to Do: Pay attention to his actions, not just words. A man truly seeking God will show it in his daily life.

2: Avoids Commitment or Is Emotionally Unavailable

A man who shuns community, mentorship, or spiritual guidance may lack the humility essential for growth. Red flags in Christian dating include avoiding godly counsel and resisting accountability. Proverbs 11:14 emphasizes, “Where there is no guidance, a people falls, but in an abundance of counselors there is safety.”

• Doesn’t define the relationship.
• Sends mixed signals or ghosts for days.
• Keeps past relationships a mystery.

What to Do: A relationship built on confusion isn’t from God. A godly man will be clear about his intentions.

3: Pressures You to Compromise Your Values

Respecting purity is paramount. If he pressures you to compromise your values, it’s a significant red flag in Christian dating. 1 Thessalonians 4:3-4 calls us to “abstain from sexual immorality” and control our bodies in holiness and honor. A man who disregards biblical dating principles and pushes boundaries is showing clear relationship red flags for Christians.

• Pushes physical boundaries.
• Tries to justify sin.
• Downplays the importance of purity.

What to Do: Stand firm in your convictions. A man who loves and respects you will honor your values.

4: Lacks Accountability & Godly Mentors

A Christian relationship should not exist in isolation. If a couple avoids accountability or resists seeking wisdom from godly mentors, they may be setting themselves up for blind spots in their relationship. Christian dating red flags include rejecting wise counsel and justifying unhealthy behaviors. Without guidance, it’s easy to overlook spiritual red flags in a relationship that could lead to deeper issues.

• Avoids wise counsel from pastors or mentors.
• Doesn’t seek spiritual growth.
• Justifies poor behavior instead of seeking growth.

What to Do: A man serious about his faith will welcome godly accountability.

5: Doesn’t Show Christlike Love

Love in a godly relationship should reflect the love of Christ—patient, selfless, and kind. If a relationship is filled with selfishness, control, or lack of respect, it contradicts God’s design for love. Red flags in Christian dating include a partner who neglects your spiritual growth, avoids prayer, and fails to encourage your faith. Relationship red flags for Christians often reveal a lack of alignment with God’s best for you.

• Displays pride, jealousy, or anger.
• Lacks patience or kindness.
• Doesn’t support your calling or dreams.

What to Do: Look for the fruits of the Spirit (Galatians 5:22-23). A godly partner will reflect Christ’s love.

When should a Christian walk away from a relationship?

When I struggled with Christian dating, I sought godly advice from other women, both single and married, to help me discern if I was on the right path. I’ll admit, I didn’t always make the best choices, especially in relationships where red flags in Christian dating were present. If you’re facing emotional, spiritual, or even physical harm, please seek safety, wise counsel, and prayer. Spiritual red flags in a relationship should never be ignored.

Knowing when to walk away in Christian dating can be challenging, but recognizing unhealthy patterns and following biblical dating principles is essential for your spiritual well-being and future. Christian dating red flags often point to areas that need careful consideration and prayerful discernment.

1. Unequally Yoked Partnership

2 Corinthians 6:14 warns, “Do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers.” If foundational beliefs differ, it can lead to conflicts and spiritual compromise.

2. Repeated Disrespect or Abuse

Everyone deserves respect and love. Colossians 3:19 instructs, “Husbands, love your wives, and do not be harsh with them.” Continuous disrespect or any form of abuse is a clear sign to step away.

3. Lack of Transparency

Trust is built on honesty. If there’s consistent secrecy or deceit, Amos 3:3 asks, “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to meet?” A relationship lacking trust isn’t sustainable.

Christian Dating Books & Resources

Want to dive deeper into Christian dating wisdom? Here are some of the best Christian dating books to help you navigate relationships with godly principles: Books on Christian dating can offer valuable insight on recognizing red flags in Christian dating, setting boundaries, and aligning your love life with God’s Word.

• Dating with Discernment: 12 Questions to Make a Lasting Marriage
• The Christian Woman’s Guide to Dating: Advice on Keeping the Faith While Looking for Love
• Waiting and Dating: A Sensible Guide to a Fulfilling Love Relationship

Final Thoughts: Trusting God in Christian Dating

Christian dating isn’t about following a formula, it’s about following Christ and allowing the Holy Spirit to guide your relationships and every aspect of your life. A godly relationship will draw you closer to God, not further away. If you’re struggling with singleness, read my post about Bible verses on singleness for encouragement and wisdom.

Remember, if you notice Christian dating red flags in a relationship, seek wisdom through prayer, godly counsel, and the Word. Trust that God’s timing and plan for your love life are always best.

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